just come out here and I will go home with you...
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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