I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I am naked and annoyed.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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