Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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