I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
you had me at cake vodka
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
