she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Randomize
