I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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