so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
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