You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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