Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
