I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
wow bdsm is so cute
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
