look no pants
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
