Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
