can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
