Plan B is the new Plan A
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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