soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
