If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
birth control should be required to get into college
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
