my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I smell stomach acid.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
