just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
