Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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