I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
