Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Randomize
