I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
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