We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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