I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
