I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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