PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
