is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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