make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
smell my finger.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
my poor anus
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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