She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
