cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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