this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize
