Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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