Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
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