He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
