just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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