could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
