it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
