doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
