yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
