Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
