I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Randomize
