The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
