where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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