nut hugger
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I think I sprained my soul last night
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
