i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
