I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
pop tarts are not kleenex
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
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