since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
