I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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