I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
