Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
