walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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